Just Sitting

Zazen takes place when you stop elbowing the others to get ahead.

~ Kodo Sawaki Roshi

Indeed! When I sit with a group it is so hard for me to not measure my practice against another's practice. Just being with my practice as it is, this is my intention today.

Some words about the actual practice of shikantaza - just sitting: When we sit in zazen, it is not that there are no thoughts at all appearing in our heads. Actually, a lot of thoughts appear. But if you start to chase those thoughts, then that can't be called zazen anymore. You are just thinking in the sitting posture. It is important for you to realize then that, "I am doing zazen right now, this is not the time for chasing thoughts!" Return to the correct posture, and open the hand of thought again. This is what is called "waking up from distraction and confusion".

Next we might become tired. Now it is time to remind ourselves, "I am doing zazen right now, this is not the time to sleep!" Let's then return to the correct posture, and wake up to zazen. This is what is called "waking up from dullness and fatigue".

Zazen means to wake up from distraction and confusion, dullness and fatigue for a billion times, and return to the wide awake posture of zazen. "Living the raw and fresh life called zazen" means to arouse the mind for a billion times in this fashion, practice and realize it for a billion times: This is what is called shikantaza - just sitting.

~ Kosho Uchiyama Roshi (disciple of Kodo Sawaki Roshi)

These words by Uchiyama Roshi are just what I needed to hear. This has been my experience with zazen lately (distraction and confusion, dullness and fatigue) and it's comforting to know that it is completely normal.